Unmask and relax with us
Explore the neurodivergent experience of masking, what it is, how it works, and how we recommend you combat its mental toll.
In the following article, Tyneside and Northumberland Mind AAA Project Lead Emma explores masking, what it is, how it works, and how your local Mind recommend you combat the mental toll it has on our wellbeing.
Masking is when someone, either on purpose or without realising it, hides their neurodivergent traits to fit in better socially – or to avoid negative reactions. Many neurotypical adults, especially women, non-binary individuals, and those diagnosed later in life, often learn from an early age that being their true selves can lead to criticism or feeling isolated. As a result, they have become skilled at masking their traits.
So, what does masking look like?
Masking comes in many forms, here’s the most common forms it takes:
– Forcing eye contact even when it feels uncomfortable
– Rehearsing conversations beforehand
– Mimicking others’ facial expressions or tones
– Suppressing stimming behaviours like fidgeting or hand movements
– Hiding sensory overload (when things feel too much)
– Scripting jokes or responses
– Imitating co-workers or peers in social settings
– Staying quiet to avoid saying something “wrong”
Why might someone mask?
There’s lots of reasons, we’ve compiled a list of those displayed most often:
– Fear of rejection or bullying
– Pressure in the workplace
– A desire for friendships or acceptance
– Past experiences of being punished for neurodivergent behaviours
– Trying to appear professional
– Trying not to be seen as difficult
– Just trying to survive in environments that feel unsafe
Understanding masking, and finding safe ways to unmask, can be really important for mental wellbeing. It can help with earlier diagnoses and raise awareness about the support needed.
What are some safe ways to start unmasking?
Where to start! There’s so many ways to start unmasking it can be overwhelming to know where to begin. We’ve created a list of eight ways to unmask, pick and choose which feels right to you, or work through each one-by-one:
Start Small: Try it out in low-pressure situations or with friends you trust.
Communicate Openly: Sharing your neurodivergence and your journey to unmask can invite support from others.
Set Boundaries: Create spaces where you feel safe expressing your needs without fear of judgment.
Practice Self-Advocacy: Be clear about what makes you comfortable in social situations.
Use Grounding Techniques: Deep breathing or using fidget toys can help ease anxiety.
Observe and Learn: Watch others who express their authenticity comfortably.
Seek Community: Connect with groups that share similar experiences for support and understanding.
Allow for Mistakes: Remember, unmasking is a journey. It’s completely okay to slip back into masking from time to time.
Unmasking can be difficult due to fear of judgment, social pressure, ingrained habits, and vulnerability. However, it can also be extremely rewarding. It helps people feel more authentic, supports mental wellbeing, encourages personal growth, strengthens supportive relationships, and builds confidence in self-advocacy. While unmasking can be challenging, it can also lead to a more genuine and fulfilling life.
We hope our article ‘Unmask and relax’ by AAA Project Lead Emma has provided some useful tips to help you navigate this part of the neurodivergent experience.
Could our Neurodivergent Programme be right for you?
Tyneside and Northumberland Mind provide two support services in Gateshead and Northumberland. Take a look at how we can help you below, and get started with a self-referral, or referral on behalf of another today.
Northumberland ‘Autism and Me’ Support Service
Tyneside and Northumberland Mind’s Autism and Me Support Service is for those living in Northumberland awaiting an autism diagnosis who would like to explore support navigating their day-to-day.
Self-refer, or refer on behalf of another and receive access to our 5 week ‘Autism and Me’ course, encouraging you to learn about yourself, celebrate your differences, and uncover coping strategies to help in your daily life, alongside a dedicated social group to connect with others.
We accept self-referrals for those awaiting a diagnosis and referrals on someone’s behalf, with their consent, by health (GP), charity and other practitioners from services. Click here to get started.
Gateshead Autism and ADHD Adult Support Service
Tyneside and Northumberland Mind’s Adult Autism and ADHD Support Service, also known as AAA Service, is for those living in Gateshead diagnosed – or self-identifying – of autism, ADHD or both, who would like to explore support navigating their day-to-day.
Self-refer, or refer on behalf of another and receive access to our 5 week ‘Autism and Me’ course and / or ‘ADHD and Me’ course, supporting you with your individual neurodivergent experience. We’re here to help you learn about yourself, share new coping strategies to support the neurodivergent mind and connect you with a regular social group.
We accept self-referrals for those awaiting a diagnosis and referrals on someone’s behalf, with their consent, by health (GP), charity and other practitioners from services. Click here to get started.
